How to Show Without Telling in Your Writing
“Show, don’t tell” is a fundamental principle in storytelling that breathes life into narratives. Instead of simply telling the reader what is happening, showing allows them to experience the story through sensory details, actions, and emotions. This technique involves demonstrating what a character is feeling or what is happening in the scene through concrete details, rather than summarizing or explaining it outright. Here’s how to master this approach:
Use Vivid Imagery and Sensory Details
Rather than stating that a place is beautiful, describe its details. Paint a picture with words that engages the senses.
Example:
- Telling: The garden was beautiful.
- Showing: The garden burst with color, roses climbing the trellis, their fragrance mingling with the earthy scent of freshly turned soil.
Depict Actions Over Statements
Actions can convey emotions and intentions more effectively than direct statements. Show characters doing something that reveals their state of mind or personality.
Example:
- Telling: She was nervous.
- Showing: Her hands trembled as she fumbled with the keys, a bead of sweat trickling down her temple.
Dialogue That Reveals Character
Dialogue can be a powerful tool to show rather than tell. How a character speaks, what they say, and what they leave unsaid can reveal much about their personality and emotions.
Example:
- Telling: John was angry with his friend.
- Showing: “So, you think this is funny?” John’s voice was low, each word clipped. He slammed the book on the table, glaring at his friend.
Show Emotions Through Reactions
Characters’ reactions to events or other characters can reveal their emotions without needing to state them explicitly.
Example:
- Telling: She was happy to see him.
- Showing: Her eyes lit up, and a wide smile spread across her face as she ran to greet him.
Use Setting to Reflect Mood
The environment can be used to mirror a character’s internal state or the overall mood of the scene.
Example:
- Telling: The town felt eerie.
- Showing: The fog hung low over the deserted streets, muffling the sound of her footsteps. Shadows lurked at the edges of her vision, making her heart race.
Real-World Examples of “Show, don’t tell”
Let’s look at some examples from literature where authors effectively use the “show, don’t tell” technique.
From Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird:
- Telling: The courtroom was tense.
- Showing: “Ain’t nobody got any business talkin’ like that—it just makes me sick.” His voice had lost its comfortableness; he was speaking in his arid, detached professional voice. “In quiet contrast, Bob Ewell’s voice crackled with malevolence, his dirty shirt stuck to his back, and his face twitched with hatred.”
Lee uses the characters’ voices, appearances, and actions to convey the tension in the courtroom without explicitly stating it.
From J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone:
- Telling: Harry was excited to go to Hogwarts.
- Showing: “He had never been more excited. He hardly dared to breathe, hoping his letter would arrive soon. He had been up at the crack of dawn every morning to check the post, and had been disappointed each time.”
Rowling shows Harry’s excitement through his actions and anticipation.
Practice Exercises
To practice “show, don’t tell,” try rewriting the following sentences by showing rather than telling:
- The house was spooky.
- She was very tired.
- He loved her deeply.
- The meal was delicious.
Sample Rewrites:
- The house loomed with creaky floorboards and cobweb-draped corners, its windows dark and foreboding.
- She dragged her feet, eyes half-closed, stifling a yawn every few steps.
- He looked at her like she was the only person in the room, his eyes soft and a tender smile playing on his lips.
- The flavors burst in his mouth, rich and savory, with each bite melting effortlessly on his tongue.
“Show, don’t tell” transforms a narrative, making it richer and more immersive. By incorporating vivid imagery, detailed actions, revealing dialogue, emotional reactions, and evocative settings, writers can create scenes that resonate deeply with readers.
